The opposite of anger!!

I am going to begin by saying I have felt more anger in the last month and 4 days then I have in my entire life!! For some, that might not be a big deal, but for me.... it is! It is not much in my character to be an angry person, in fact I hate anger... contention....despair... etc... anything remotely close to that emotion! I feel miserable when I am angry, but each day since July 13th when I lost my little sister I wake up and at some point (or a lot of points) during the day anger begins to creep in....
I am angry because my sister was taken at 15 1/2 years old... 15 1/2.....??? I am angry that God would, in all his intelligence, separate twin sisters and leave one here to live out the rest of her mortal life without her other half, that they will never get to go to a prom together, or go to eachothers weddings or help babysit eachothers kids!
Anger is very prevalent when I think about the accident and the events leading up to it and how choices can change things!  Choices in any situation can truly affect how things turn out!  I don't know for certain in this situation if better choices had been made that it would have changed things, but I have a hunch there is a big possibility that different choices could have been made for sure, and the outcome could have been different! 
I have put alot of thought into the feelings I have been experiencing and I really have been trying to overcome the anger! I came to a conclusion that if I could work on feelings opposite from anger then I would be able to overcome it, because anger is a feeling that can eat at you and tear you down every minute you let it consume your body and mind, and I can't allow that!!!
So I asked my dad the other day "Dad, what is the opposite of anger?" Think about it... do you really know? Well I didn't know, I had some guesses but wasn't sure which ones were right! My dad guessed happiness, but then I quickly reminded him that was the opposite of sadness, he thought longer and said.. "maybe love?" For a while I thought that it could be love, it took few days to realize I wasn't satisfied.. so finally with help from my cousin we found the opposite of anger! After finding it and looking through all the synonyms I found the I word I was looking for, it was......... PEACE!!! Think about it... how many of us like peace??? I know I do!
I haven't in the last few weeks felt much peace... in fact I haven't TRULY felt much of anything besides some glitches of anger... in fact there is a certain numbness that comes with the tragedy of losing a loved one, atleast for me... I have thought if I just don't feel anything than I can't feel the pain, right?
WRONG..... pain is felt much in my heart and I think it will forever own a part of my heart from now on... but that doesn't mean that we can't challenge ourselves to change the other emotions that we might be feeling at any given moment!
Just today... I have felt a small glimmer of peace... it is beginning to creep in just like the anger has been!  I KNOW, that once I give my heart to the Lord and cast all my burdens onto him..... PEACE WILL COME!!! That some day I will be able to wake up with the dawn having a renewed sense of energy, strength in my heart, and a serenity in my soul! I believe that despite all the clouds looming around, that the sun will shine again and it will shine bright... that nothing will ever be able to dim the joy and happiness that it will bring! I hope we will remember, things happen for a reason, that we have to trust in God, and know that He has a plan.
And through Jesus Christ our minds and hearts can be healed and we can FEEL again, the way we were meant to!
Once again, the only way to know true joy, is to know true despair.... but it doesn't have to end with despair... joy will come again... the sun will shine strong... the heart will heal... and to think.... all we have to do is LET HIM IN.... Love Him, Honor Him, Follow Him.... So that one day we can Return to HIM!!!
That is where true PEACE is accomplished... so on your journey through life, even though there be trials, pain, and sadness, we can always choose to walk to the other side and find experience, healing, and happiness!!!
So good luck.... find joy in the journey, happiness everyday and Peace in your heart!!!